So, I took a big old Lez(bian) to the titty bar.

Lil Dave was visiting from Seattle this weekend, so he gave me a call and asked me to meet him at Bandaids. Yes, I'm sure you can all imagine what type of clientel goes to a strip club called Bandaids.

Anyways . . .

I was with one of my favorite lesbians, La Isla Bonita (is everyone I know either a lesbian or ndn these days?), so I said "You like titties! Lets go to the strip club." And so we did.

I think L.I.B. left a wet spot in her chair (as Quilty would say, she got all mojada in her ochonco). And I won't even go into how I was molested by several strippers. Apparently, they like titties too.

A good clean time was had by all, including Lil Dave who spent ridiculous amounts of money. I think La Isla Bonita left feeling a bit sexually frustrated after she fell in love with - horror of all horrors - a black stripper with a nice ass. I openly admitted that her ass was better than mine - and those of you who know me know that statement took extreme courage. I left thinking "Ain't that a shame. That chick who danced to "My Hump" was really pregnant, wasn't she?"

The moral of the story: If you're not into chicks but you're asked to go see strippers, take a friend that actually like titties. Also, sit next to big black dudes because they will buy you really potent drinks!