Monday, December 04, 2006

Weight Loss the "Ana" Way!

I've lost 7 lbs in 5 days. Ask me how! Ask me how!


So, I'm sick and I haven't been able to eat anything but broth (yum) and baby food (double yum). I don't understand why I haven't gained weight on such fine cuisine. Anyhoo, the lack of fried cheesy meaty stuff (or anything else) has made me 7 lbs lighter. Am I happy about this?

Sure I am. Isn't anorexia the American way? You know how much of a patriot I am.

My family had juicy steak, potatoes and green beans last night. Ask me what I had! Ask me what I had!

Beechnut stage 1 apple sauce, 500mgs of vicodin, 750mgs of some anti-inflammatant that I cannot spell, and 1.5 tsps of Augmentin (antibiotic). Mmmm. Can't you just taste the yummy goodness? To make it even better, I got to take all my pills crushed and diluted in tea. Mmmm. I love the tast of medicine. I don't understand why I haven't been eating (or not eating) like this all my life!

Ok, so I'm all done being sarcastic. Actually, I'm just FUCKING PISSED that I can't eat. I'm hungry!!!!! I'm actually having hunger pangs. And if I have to swallow one more spoonful of broth, I'm just gonna try to choke on it to end my miserable existence! Y'all know can get downright bitchy when I don't eat (and when I do eat).

I don't understand how these bitches with eating disorders can do this. I'm absolutely miserable. Skinnier, but miserable. If I had the choice between actual food and 7lbs of weight loss, I'd take the food hands down - and its not like I couldn't stand to lose about 10 more.



Blogger Knows It All said...

Oh my goodness? Still that bad? I'm so sorry.

Get better quicklike. Its holiday season, I can help you get those seven back plus another seven in no time!

12/04/2006 11:44 AM  
Blogger Romius T. said...

OMG I know how cranky you get when you are hungry. You must be miserable to be around.

But hot. With the 17 pounds. Nice.

12/04/2006 10:19 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home