The Moon Was Full Last Night . . .

. . . and it’s so true what they say about the full moon.

The night started out lovely enough. I had dinner with La Isa Bonita, Grape Ape, and D III at Pita Jungle. The putanesca (NOT poonanny, Isa) was scrumptious. As we were leaving, I got a chill up my spine. Then came the serious of strange events.

As we were walking to the car, Grape Ape bit the sidewalk and her shoe went flying in the air. It was hilarious. In fact, I’m sitting here laughing hysterically while I type.

So, we drive back to the school. My car is GONE. Yes, GONE. Me, Isa, and Ape search and search. I know they didn’t steal my car out of visitor parking! So I walk over to the little parking man. He informs me that my car has been towed – out of the visitor parking lot. How does that happen? Oh yeah. It was a full moon!

April drives my happy ass to parking services, where the girl behind the bulletproof glass (yes, they have bulletproof glass in the parking office just for people like me – angry black women who’ve had their cars towed out of the fucking visitor lot where they are parked legally!) informs me that I have about $200 in parking tickets (VIP parking has it’s price) and that I have to go to the tow yard and get my insurance information out of my impounded car, come back to her office, then go back to the tow yard. That bitch better be glad she was behind Plexiglas! Did I mention the full moon?

April then drives me to the tow yard where a 10 year old girl, working all by herself in the cold and dark, is in charge of dealing with irate people who’ve had their cars towed. She walks me over to my car where I get my papers and my flip flops (I had on some really cute slides, but they hurt and it was muddy). As we’re walking back to April’s car, I step in a mud puddle, getting my feet all dirty. Shit!

Me, April, and my muddy feet drive back over to the parking office. On our way, Card Shark calls. Seemingly moved by my apology and angry about some meeting he attended (and it was NOT Gambler’s Anonymous), he felt the need to invite me to the fair. I figure, hell, what have I got to lose. It’s a full moon. Things could get interesting.

I finally pick up my car and head over to Shark’s house. I change my clothes and me, Shark and Romius head to the fair! That’s right folks. I went to the fair with my chubby ex-bf and Romius, the only white man I’ll ever love! Full moon, anyone?

We walk in the fair and the boys buy an assortment of fried stuff on sticks. (NOTE TO READER: If you get out of the hospital with severe ulcers, it’s important to NOT eat anything that you can carry on a stick). I just wanna ride. So, me and Shark get on a number of rides thing that flip, spin, and toss, and drop us. Shark starts drooling. I’m glad I didn’t eat the corndog. Romius is a pussy who almost freaks out on the ferris wheel. Shark wins me a stuffed curious George. Full moon!

So, instead of going home, Shark and Romius (who both clearly miss my everyday presence) take me to their new hole-in-the-wall spot. We drink. A black man in cowboy boots flirts with me and tells me I look like Gladys Knight (I don’t). A blond Mexican man talks about killing the white people, or maybe just offing Romius. We drink some more. Card Shark keeps playing with the slab of fat that is now his belly. Romius tells me his new poker stories. I laugh. Card Shark tells me my blog is biased (well duh). I’m actually having a good time. I miss my boys. We used to be like the 3 Musketeers, except with an Indian (dot and feather) and a black chick (that’s me) and no swords. Ok, not like the 3 Musketeers at all, but you get the picture. Clearly, I’m drunk with full moon madness.

So we get back to chubby . . . I mean Card Shark’s house. He gives me a strange but heartfelt hug and I head home under the light of the full moon.