Sunday, February 19, 2006

Flavor of Love - Episode 7

Again, it's a beautiful day and the ladies and Flav are waking up to start another day of courtship. New York weighs in on her competition - they're no competition.

Flav was born a travellin' man, so he's taking the girls on a trip. First, he's going to take Hoopz and Pumpkin to Palm Springs. Next, he'll take New York and Goldie to San Diego. New York is hurt that Hoopz & Pumpkin get to go first. She thinks they're sluts and bitches who will try to sleep with Flav. Well, isn't that the point? Goldie doesn't want to get separated either, but oh well!

Hoops & Pumpkin are on their way to a resort in Palm Springs. They're greeted by Flav wearing hot pink! The ladies get their own room filled with goodies. Flav left them a note - they're getting yoga lessons. Hmmm. Or should I say Ohhhhm? Flav wants them to "exercise that ass!"

The ladies and Flav look like they're having a hard time with the yoga. Flav's feet are black at the bottom and that ain't right. They get into some compromising yoga positions (downward dog looks like doggy-style), but the girls are very aware that they're in a competition. As such, they keep kissin his nasty ass. YUCKO!

Big Rick, sans sleeves, escorts the trio to the pool where they gross out the rest of the resort patrons. Hoopz and Pumpkin continue to try and one-up one another.

COMMERCIAL BREAK

Next, the happy trio, including Flav and his clock, head to the spa. First, they do the toura festa, which means they get to pain one another with mud. Flav looks ashy, but he got "the flyest mud bath in the world!" Pumpkin takes off Hoopz's top - like she's not used to that. Next, they shower off the mud, at which point, Pumpkin starts slippin Flav to tongue. Not to be outdone, Hoopz joins in. I think I want to poke my eyes out!

Later in the evening, they prepare for dinner. While Hoopz is primping, Pumpkin writes him a letter about how she wants to get to know Flav in addition to making out with him. The ladies look lovely, and so does Flav with his top hat and matching clock. OK, I was totally kidding. Poor Pumpkin. She can't keep up with Flav and his black lingo. She looks so confused. Hoopz knows what time it is though.

When Hoopz excuses herself to use the potty, Pumpkin slips Flav the note. She wants to be alone with him. Awwww. Or should that be eeeewwwww! Flav thinks Pumpkin has heart, so excuses himself and Pumpkin, leaving poor Hoopz all alone. I want to "say poor" Hoopz, but she's adamant that she's not sleeping with him. Good for her. Pumpkin, on the other hand, is not stranger to sex on reality shows! What a skank.

COMMERCIAL BREAK

It's another day and Flav meets up with Trannie and Goldie in San Diego. When Trannie spots Flav, she runs into his arms, screaming "I missed you!!" Goldie knows she needs to step up her game.

The new threesome take a tour of the wild animal park. They took them to the "habitatual" land. I couldn't make that shit up if I tried. Lions and tigers and bears, oh my! Trannie likes giraffes. Perhaps they remind her of herself as she has a long ass neck and fat tongue. They feed the rhinos, which according to Flav, eat just like he does. He ain't lyin, ya'll. Apparently, the tour guide informs the group that animals with long horns have great sex lives. Well, that makes Flav happy because he's horny and wearing his horns! Somehow, I don't think that has much to do with his package. Goldie says she's capable of stealing the show while Trannie wants to make Flav feel like the king he is. OK.

They head to the W Hotel, a very nice spot, and they get ready for dinner. They're room is also filled with goodies and a portrait of Flav in an Indian head dress and his gold fronts. Aight, Chief! The girls are excited about the date. I LOVE GOLDIE. Trannie knows she's gorgeous while Goldie is just cute. Hmmm. Maybe if you're into men Trannie is gorgeous.

The yall meet for dinner. Goldie lays a smooch on Flav.

PAUSE: I love Goldie and want her to win. But, at the same time, I love Goldie and don't want her to be with Flav. I don't want to see her kiss him. He nasty. UNPAUSE. Trannie looks pissed that Goldie is layin the mack down on Flav. Flav is like "Whoa. Goldie, where have you been?" I could see his lil pecker staning at attention.

They eat dinner. Flav asks Goldie to feed him. She agrees. SCORE for Goldie. Trannie, looking pissed, offers Flav some shrimp. He ain't payin no attention to her because all eyes are on Goldie. Trannie is grippin her steak knife real hard, like she's gonna cut Goldie. Flav asks Goldie what she would do if she had some alone time with him. Goldie responds "I could show you better than I could tell you." SCORE SCORE! Then, she shoots Trannie a "What Bitch!!" look. Did I mention that I LOVE GOLDIE? Flav excuses himself and Goldie. Flav knew he didn't make Trannie happy. He could "smell the heat coming out the top of her head."

As Flav and Goldie get their smooch on, Trannie is back in the room cryin like a punk. She can't "share her man with another woman. A big girl at that!" Well, that big girl, that country bumpkin, that bicuits and white gravy, just walked off with your man, man . . . I mean Trannie!!

COMMERCIAL BREAK

It's a new day, again, and Flav looks extra special happy. Goldie put it on him! Tonight is elimination. Flav reflects on his dates. He had a good ole time.

Back at the mansion, Pumpkin, Hoopz, and Goldie reunite. They're all excited to see each other and cheer when they hear Goldie got the alone time. Trannie sits in her room by herself. The girls hope Trannie is the one to go. Trannie can only think of Flav and their future together.

Flav goes back to his suite to make his decision. Flav in his electric blue do rag and glasses, looks the most normal he's looked the entire show. Looking at the pics, Flav says he could get with this or he could get with that (Blacksheep, come out, come out wherever you are).

COMMERCIAL BREAK

Elimination time! 4 girls and 3 clocks. Who stays and who goes?
  • Pumpkin - I guess puttin out works.
  • Hoopz - Trannie says she's beautiful, but when she opens her mouth, "it's like dirt!"
  • Trannie - Apparnetly, Flav really likes men.

Goldie had to go. She's great, but he say she just a friend - oh, and she didn't put out! Tis a shame because she was the best woman on the show. The rest of the girls are shocked and will miss Goldie. So will I Goldie, so will I.

And here's a sign of Goldie's class. Instead of wishing the remaining ladies ill will, she says her heart goes out to Trannie because she knows the other girls won't talk to her.

Trannie, on the other hand, starts her crazy rantings about how she loves Flav and she will kill anyone who stands in her way (or something like that).

BUT next week is the kicker. Trannie and Pumpkin get to fightin! See ya'll next week.

6 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I love Goldie too! I hated to see her go, but alas, she was too good for Flav anyways! As long as New York doesn't win I'll be happy! New York truly is a trannie and doesn't deserve that clock! How about Goldie and Flav's clock holding sidekick?

2/20/2006 10:51 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh Shutup! New York is a Bitch! But give the bitch some credit, she is effectively playing the game. And that's what it is folks, a game! She's playing to win. Every girl on that show was there to advance their careers. She's just not trying to front like she actually gives a damn about being friends with those other girls. I think everyone is giving her a bad wrap! If it wasn't for her and hottie crazy ass the show wouldn't be as popular as it is.

2/20/2006 2:22 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I cannot stand Pumpkin's white trash wrinkled face ass! I hope New York beats the shit out of her next week. Why would you go on a show to date Flavor Flav and not be able to understand black lingo? Please someone, kick this stupid, big mouthed ass bitch off the show!

2/20/2006 2:24 PM  
Blogger Kinglee said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

2/20/2006 5:18 PM  
Blogger Kinglee said...

Let me get my psychic friends network on.....Pumpkin will win because Flav loves white women, (can you imagine this show 40 years ago, Flav would have been in a tree by now.) Hoopz is the finest black girl on TV right now, but she will lose to Pumpkin and will be seen in every hip-hop music video from this day forth. Oh yeah and New York will get is his ass kicked by BIG RICK, now thats reality television.

2/20/2006 5:25 PM  
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