Thank Goodness the Book Club is Over!

Did I not get the memo about people from Arizona having to embarass themselves on national television? First, there was Paradise Hotel, where every other guest was an ASU co-ed making a fool of him or herself. Then there was My Big Fat Obnoxious Fiance, where the Catholic School teacher from Scottsdale had to convince her family she was marrying the fat bartender from Grey's Anatomy. She was eventually fired for making a mockery of marriage.

Now there is Tuesday Night Book Club. Or, at least, there was Tuesday Night Book Club. Apparently, CBS didn't see fit to follow the boring lives of some boring, not-so-rich, Scottsdale women in the style of Desperate Housewives. After 2 episodes, Book Club has been cancelled and replaced with reruns of 48 Hours Mystery. How bad does a show have to be to get replace by a 48 Hours spin-off? Well, I'll tell ya how bad . . .

I was one of the suckers who watched the first episode of Book Club and lemme tell ya that I felt dumber for having watched. It followed around some really ugly women who were supposedly rich Scottsdalites . . . Scottsdalians . . . Scottsdalinos. Whatever. They were cheaters, self-absorbed, boring, and really really rehearsed. Oh, and the whole mess was narrated by someone trying to sound like the woman from Desperate Housewives.

Here's the thing. People like Desperate Housewives for a few very obvious reasons. First, the actresses are all "beautiful" (although that's debatable. you seen Terri Hatcher's crow's feet and cadaverous body lately?). Next, there writers to make the women of Wysteria Lane interesting so that people actually care about the characters, even if they are vapid and self-absorbed.

Book Club was missing both elements. The women on this show were straight up dawgs. I mean, one had poofy poodle-like hair for cryin out loud. They do have salons in Scottsdale. I've been to one or two! Another one, a professional fitness model (or something), looked like she's had every ounce of fat sucked from her overly tanned body, although her face was as pale as a ghost. Oh, and she looked more of a man than her misogynistic firefighter hubby! The one saving grace was the younger blonde party girl, but she was so skanky and stupid that her "hotness" ceases to matter. I think I caught an STD just watching her on the screen.

Oh, and these women are shallow and BORING! I didn't care about any of them, which is sad because they're actually real people and they live about 20 minutes down the road. Not one of them had one redeeming quality. Even the divorcee who worked full time and felt guilty about not spending more time with her kids was boring and rehearsed. I guess she wasn't eaten up inside about subjecting her kids to cameras following them around for Lord only knows how long. I didn't even care that the bodybuilder's husband was a meat-headed prick because she was the dingbat that married that loser.

In all, that show was a hot mess! I'm glad it's gone. Since I missed the memo, I'm issuing my own . . .

MEMORANDUM

To: Every single person in Arizona

From: Foxxxylove

Date: June 23, 2006

Re: Reality TV Show Ban

The people of Arizona, in an effort to acquire some shame, should keep their tired asses off of reality tv for at least 2 full television seasons. That way, you can't ruin life for the rest of us upstanding citizens! It's bad enough we have to live in the fucking desert. Must we endure your foolishness making us all look like soul-less, over-sexed, spoiled rich brats who clearly need good good stylists and a dye job? For the good of the community, please STOP IT RIGHT NOW!