Monday, January 09, 2006

Flavor Flav, Booooooyyyy! Live recap of Episode 2.

Ok, so it's live for me becaues I missed the episode when it came on Sunday. Forgive me please. I was passed out in an alcohol-induced coma (thanks Shandee). So, I'm doing my recap while watching the rerun (how many times a week can VH1 play the same shows?).
***
When we last left Flav, he told 5 of his 20 suitors that their time was up. Now down to 15 ladies, hijinx continue to ensue.

Day 2 of the competition begins as a beautiful morning, or so we hope. The Flav-ettes are waking up and sharing tales of their hatred of Miss New York. Dayum, New York looks like a man in drag.

All the women hate New York. Could it be her cheerful disposition? Her pretty weave? Her adam's apple? Whatever the reason, New York is public enemy #1, and apparently, Miss Latin is the only New York fan in the house.

Cut to the dining room. All the ladies, save New York and Miss Latin, gather for breakfast. Big Rick brings a platter with a Flav-o-gram inside. Looks like the ladies get 10 minutes of Flav-on-one time. The 3 girls he likes the most will get to join him on an awesome adventure. However, after the dates, Flav must eliminate 5 more girls.

Cut to Miss Latin in another room on the phone. Apparently, she places a call to her ex-boo of 4 years, Cash (yes, his name is Cash, like $$$).

New York and Miss Latin enter the dining room, however, all things are not well. New York tells all the women good morning, except for Rain, who she tells to choke. What a beautiful way to start the day!

Cut to scene of the women primping, or should I say ho-ing up for the date at with Flav. They then load up into 2 vans for the trip.

What a surprise. The women in New York's van start arguing. She and Rain are goin at him. Rain even invokes the Lord by sayin "Oh praise him!" Rain needs New York out of her bloodstream. My goodness, weave is flyin and fake nails are clickin in the air. I think they're gonna start scrappin!

COMMERCIAL BREAK

Flav chose hot tubs for the girls to decorate because he wants to see what they are workin with. The girls break out the candles, flowers, balloons and bikins. Flav will spent 10 minutes with each lady. Here's what he got:


  • Pumpkin is first. She and Flav cozy up. She decorates her tub with bubbles which have actions written inside. Flav chooses the 1st - Shower with kisses. They get busy. This is not for the faint at heart.
  • Flav and Red Oyster play dirty minds.
  • Peachez sings Flav a song.
  • Cutie raps and wiggles her booty.
  • New York decorates her hot tub with candles and flower petals. She talks of peace.
  • Rain talks about her crazy relationships.
  • Apples does a hula dance and Flav leis her.
  • Georgia introduces Flave to Feng Shui.
  • Goldie starts booty shakin with her country ass! Gotta love Goldie.
  • Smiley just takes off her make-up to show her real side. She still believes in love. How sweet and crap-tastic!
  • Dimplez rollerskates. She has a beautiful smile. Apparently, she thinks Flav does too.
  • Hottie is nuts. She tries to hypnotize him.
  • Miss Latin is THICK! Especially in the middle. She's here for Flav.
In all, this challenge was really really lame and these women are desperate! Which 3 does Flav choose? Smiley, New York, and Miss Latin. New York is NOT shocked that she won.

Around 4am, Flav hears the girls talking in the kitchen. Pumpkin and New York are fightin because New York is just a big old meanie. New York tells Pumpkin she ain't got it and needs a facelift. Pumpkin takes off the kid gloves. "At least I don't look like a transvestite" with your "dick tucked behind your nutsack!" Ooh, somebody betta hold New York back before she fights like the man that she is.

Flav comes out of his room and Pumpkin rats out New York. Flav comforts Pumpkin. I find it hilarious that Pumpkin was cryin when she clearly got the better snap in!

New York feels she's awesome and totally has it goin on. Hmmmm.

COMMERCIAL BREAK

Miss Latin calls Cash again. He hangs up on her sorry ass. I'm guessing he broke up with her because of the show, which is smart. I wouldn't want my lady chasin Flav!

Miss Latin talks to the girls about how much she misses her man. Whoa! They've only been broken up a week! Miss Lating agrees that if Cash asked her to come back to him, she'd dump Flav in a heartbeat. Smart girl, but dumb girl to tell the others because we all know someone is gonna dime her out.

Cut to the ladies. The 3 girls chosen for the special date receive clothes from Flav. They get ready for what promises to be an interesting evening. Flav has on his long turquoise jacket with purple and black fur trim for this special occassion. He looks as fly as the flyest pimp! Ohh, they're gonna bounce, rock, rollerskate!

New York is rubbin all over Flav. Miss Latin falls on her arse. Well, that seems to get Flav's attention, so New York falls too. Flav is hip to her game. Besides, he wants to feel the physical attraction.

So after skating, he feeds his dates the finest food that the snackbar serves. Here's what we learn:

  • Smiley was married once. Her husband wasn't in love with her and she wasn't the one. TEAR! Flav said it's ok. It takes a while to find the right one. I mean, look at him. He's had a bunch of babies with a bunch of different women.
  • Miss Latin has been married twice. There were some serious differences eith 2nd one (which I'm assuming is Cash). She didn't mention Flav though.

COMMERCIAL BREAK

The dates went well. Miss Latin feels confident. Meanwhile, a group of girls are discussing Miss Latin's relationship with her ex, but most agreed that it was none of their business. Well . . . all except Hottie that is.

BTW, what the fuck is Hottie wearing?!?! She's got on this thing that wraps around and separates her big droopy titties, then forms into pants with slits on the sides. That's not baby fat. That's fat, baby. And don't let me get started on her weave.

Anyhoo, Hottie goes to Miss Latin and tells her that the whole house is talking about her ex and how she would choose him over Flav. Miss Latin gets defensive (even though she said it). Hottie says that she's going to tell Flav because she cares about him.

Dinner time! Miss Latin tells all the ladies what Hottie said. Hottie says "I don't know what you're talking about." The other women call Hottie out because they know she's a lying instigator. Rain throws in a "Praise Jesus!" (she really loves the Lord). While these chicks are totally backbiting, Goldie comments that the chicken they were supposed to be eating was quite lovely! I LOVE GOLDIE!

Meanwhile, Red Oyster sits in Flav's lap, with a Diet coke in hand, and proceeds to rat out Miss Latin. And here I thought it was gonna be Hottie. This news did not soothe Flav's soul!

Clock time!

COMMERCIAL BREAK

We're back to the clock ceremony. The girls are commenting on their chances. Rain feels "mad less secure" because Flav doesn't really know anything new about her, while Smiley fears her emotions during the date may have ruined her chance.

Good Lord, what is Hottie wearing. As I heard earlier tonight, you should not wear a belly shirt if you actually have a belly! That girl looks like a hot mess!

Dayum, somebody said that New York looks lie Shrek. BWAAAAAAAHHH!

15 narrows to 10:

  • Sweetie
  • Serious
  • Smiley
  • Peachez
  • Hoopz
10 bodies, 5 clocks, who will be the ones to walk the blocks
  • Goldie
  • Hottie (dayum, nobody even clapped for her)
  • New York (wow, Rain is really cut deep by this one)
  • Pumpkin
  • Red Oyster

Pause: Flav takes a minute to make a speech about rats. Miss Latin is a dirty rat for disrespecting Flav by callin her ex-bf. Adios Miss Latin! Apparently, Red Oyster is a clean rat because he keeps her.

What? Rain is not on the list? Well, that ghetto bitch had to go sometime. Praise Jesus, I say!

***
This episode wasn't nearly as entertaining as the first. If the next one sucks, I'm soooo not recapping it. I'd rather do recaps of My Own anyway. Now that's the BEST SHOW EVER (that one is just for you Palma).

7 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

You didn't enjoy Flavor of Love: Episode 2? I was laughing my ass off. I was so ready for New York and Rain to scrap.

Or did that turn off to you? I know a lot of ladies don't like it when women catfight over men.

But I loved it. The claws were coming out. Pumpkin maybe white but she's definitely from the streets. She's the type of white girl that loves to chase after the brothers.

Anyway, all of these girls have some personal issues within themeselves -- whether it be relationship issues, emotional issues or just straight-up H.A.M. issues (see Hottie). Almost all of them need to see a therapist.

But I also believe that none of these girls really care about Flavor Flav -- not even New York. This is their TV time -- their 15 minutes of fame.

But who is your favorite girl on the show? I'm still with Hoopz. She seems more classy than the others. She might be playing it safe.

Great recap! Don't stop the recaps, please. I'll take a brief roundup from you if possible.

But thank you for this, it's a great read.

Now what's this here . . . ?

You love that MTV show My Own?
Why? I think it's kinda boring. But I have to watch more episodes. I saw the "Beyonce" episode and was like, "None of these girls look like Beyonce or even dance or sing like Miss B?"

I'll tell you this -- I love the dating shows Next and Room Raiders. These shows surprise me every time I watch it.

Great post!

-- Trent
http://beatsandrants.blogs.com

1/10/2006 9:53 AM  
Blogger foxxxylove said...

I think Hoopz is my favorite based on looks and Goldie is my favorite based on entertainment. I think they'll both be there for a while.

As for MY OWN, you really need to catch the Omarion episode. Me and my sisters almost pissed our pants. The people they choose never really look like the star, but it's funny to see and hear them try!

I'm also a big NEXT fan, but not so much ROOM RAIDERS. I would really like to see them bring back DATE MY MOM, though.

1/10/2006 12:07 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wow... I only watched this because it was a lazy Saturday. I just saw the scene with the fight between Miss NY and the blonde.

"Kick the lyrics," aka open up and tell me whats wrong... Wow! Finally, a therapist ballers and gangsters can relate to.

But seriously; this is truly another pure example of the fall of the empire America. That people would participate in this bufoonery for the sake of 15 seconds of fame with an obvious has-been is a little troubling.

I'm not into these celebreality shows and I guess I should just laugh it off. But the notion of hundreds of applicants competing on a show like this really makes me want to ask, where is the self respect?

Personally, I could really dig a show where the male (or female) object of desire is a sharp, sophisticated, educated and articulate individual. I would still think that because it could be put to a television audience that you would still get a numerous and diverse body of applicants that would make for interesting television.

Lastly, no, I don't take myself that seriously, neither should you.

Healthy '06!
pnelms

1/14/2006 11:39 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Miss Latin is a dirty rat for disrespecting Flav by callin her ex-bf from the house. good thing oysetr came out n told.

1/14/2006 5:31 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I still think pumpkin is a disgrace and is about as classy as a dollar general store. It was hilarious when she got kicked of the show after being busted for being on so many reality show, and then she tried to get NY in the same boat with her. God how childish and spitting on Ny and running like a five year old. Oh and I hope she does not want to return to her teaching career after being seen on tv as ho and a tv whore.

3/12/2006 11:24 PM  
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4/04/2006 10:55 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Visualization is a tool that has been used for thousands of years by initiates of all the metaphysical schools. Today, it is incorporated into top athlete's daily routines and is used in business affairs frequently. It's use is wide-spread among highly successful people, either consciously or unconsciously, aware of its create power. So if it has stood the test of time and is still being used by high achievers we must come to the conclusion that it works! But has it ever worked for you?

If you answered 'yes' to the above question then you know how powerful this technique can be. If, on the other hand, you gave the more likely answer 'no' then take heart for I am about to reveal to you a sure fire way of reaching your objectives through this mostly misunderstood art.

The trouble with visualization is simple - its in its name!

When studying and contemplating the art of visualization most people have the impression that they must create visual images and make them real or life-like. Many people, in fact the majority, find this almost impossible to do. Even if they can formulate a solid picture of their objective they find it extremely difficult to sustain the image for any length of time. Either the image fades, changes or other intruding thoughts intervene.

This type of visualization is almost impossible to sustain and luckily it is not at all necessary. Why? Because it is in the subconscious mind that your visualization needs to be placed and there is good news. The subconscious mind does not know the difference between an imaginary event and a real one. Your visual image only needs to be a strong visually as any other imagined event. However, that is only half the story.

If all you had to do was just imagine stuff and your world automatically changed to reflect your imaginings this world would be full of chaos (not to mention all those creepy crawly bug-eyed monsters!). Therefore, there are a few more steps to complete before the visualization is passed to the subconscious for manifestation.

Let's try a little experiment. Remember a scene from your past that has a lot of good feelings around it. Any good memory will do, like the first time you heard the words "I love you" from your partner, an amazingly spectacular sunset, a great holiday event or your last birthday. Pick one and remember it. How clear is the image? Can you remember any sounds? What way did you feel? Is there any sense of touch, taste or smell? Identify how your memory works. Is it mostly visual, auditory, kinaesthetic or of a feeling nature?

Now we are going to create an imagined event in our lives that has the same strength and potency as that image. So relax and let's go.

Imagine something that you do everyday, something that you did yesterday, today and will do tomorrow. Let us take the example of waking up tomorrow morning. Don't try to add or take anything away, just think about it and analyse the scene. Is it dark or light? Are you lying next to someone in bed? Do you still feel tired? Has the alarm clock sounded? Are you irritable that you have to get up or full of joy at the dawn of a new day?

You will find that the imagined event is very similar to the memory with probably one key difference - your point of perspective. Is the memory behind you and the future event in front of you? Is one to the left and one to the right? Maybe they are both in front of you or the future seems to move in a clockwise direction. Whatever the perspective the thing to notice is that they are very similar in appearance.

Now imagine doing your future event a week from now, then a month from now, then six months from now. Where are those images placed? Are they moving further away, going clockwise, from left to right? This is your time-line and using it is important in visualization as you will see later.

Ok, let's imagine something that is very unlikely to happen and see where it differs from the last image.

Imagine you are sitting somewhere familiar which is extremely comfortable and relaxing to you. Now imagine that a person you know well comes up to where you are and says "hello". Imagine them telling you that they want to show you a new trick. All of a sudden they have three juggling balls. They throw them in the air and begin to juggle with ease. Then they begin to whistle one of your favourite tunes. You suddenly realize that there is a strong smell of flowers in the room and notice a vase of them just behind the juggler. Imagine laughing loudly at the scene and feeling joyful at the experience. Then the person juggling leans forward stands on leg and puts the other leg outstretched behind them. All the while still juggling and whistling. Then they begin to hop on their leg as a small bird flies over to perch on their head. Once you have the imagined event and stayed with it a few moments just let it fade.

Ok open your eyes. What was the difference between the two images? Can you spot any? Did you use more, less or roughly the same senses in your fantasy event as you did in the future one? Did you see them from different angles? Was the picture bigger in one than the other? Was the sound clearer, the feelings more acute or the smell stronger? Take some time and go back to each scene in your mind. How does the future event differ from the fantasy one? Are you looking at both from a different vantage point? Do you see yourself in the image of one but not the other? Analyse the scenes and see where they differ.

Have you identified how the future event differs from the fantasy one? If you have then its time to make visualization work for you! Take a goal that you have been working on or would like to achieve. Nothing too far-fetched at this point please! Pick something that is possible but at the moment seems a little impractical. Once you have it form a mental image of what it would be like to have, be or do that thing or be in that experience. Remember to form it the same way you do a memory. Give it the same strength visually, in sound, feeling, taste and touch - use your mind in its natural state. All you have to do is imagine the scene.

Ok how does it differ from the scene of waking in the morning? Can you identify the differences in perspective, sound, taste, touch, feelings and what you hear?

Now there will be one other key thing that differs in the images- it is very simple but often overlooked. You know that the future event is going to happen! This is reflected in the way we experience the image. So what we are going to do is fool your subconscious mind into thinking your goal is definitely going to happen by manipulating your goal image!

Once you know what the differences are in each image begin to change the goal image so that it is seen the same way as the future event in your imagination. Place the visualized scene in exactly the same position with the same perspective as your future event.

Place it in the correct position on your time-line. You may already begin to feel that the goal is more possible. Visualise in this way everyday and you will condition your subconscious mind to manifest the experiences necessary to make your goal attainment certain.

One more thing to remember: During the day think about your goal often. This reinforces the visualization and will begin to dispel doubt from your mind. self hypnosis

5/29/2006 7:46 PM  

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