Flavor Flav, Booooooyyyy! Live recap of Episode 2.

Ok, so it's live for me becaues I missed the episode when it came on Sunday. Forgive me please. I was passed out in an alcohol-induced coma (thanks Shandee). So, I'm doing my recap while watching the rerun (how many times a week can VH1 play the same shows?).

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When we last left Flav, he told 5 of his 20 suitors that their time was up. Now down to 15 ladies, hijinx continue to ensue.

Day 2 of the competition begins as a beautiful morning, or so we hope. The Flav-ettes are waking up and sharing tales of their hatred of Miss New York. Dayum, New York looks like a man in drag.

All the women hate New York. Could it be her cheerful disposition? Her pretty weave? Her adam's apple? Whatever the reason, New York is public enemy #1, and apparently, Miss Latin is the only New York fan in the house.

Cut to the dining room. All the ladies, save New York and Miss Latin, gather for breakfast. Big Rick brings a platter with a Flav-o-gram inside. Looks like the ladies get 10 minutes of Flav-on-one time. The 3 girls he likes the most will get to join him on an awesome adventure. However, after the dates, Flav must eliminate 5 more girls.

Cut to Miss Latin in another room on the phone. Apparently, she places a call to her ex-boo of 4 years, Cash (yes, his name is Cash, like $$$).

New York and Miss Latin enter the dining room, however, all things are not well. New York tells all the women good morning, except for Rain, who she tells to choke. What a beautiful way to start the day!

Cut to scene of the women primping, or should I say ho-ing up for the date at with Flav. They then load up into 2 vans for the trip.

What a surprise. The women in New York's van start arguing. She and Rain are goin at him. Rain even invokes the Lord by sayin "Oh praise him!" Rain needs New York out of her bloodstream. My goodness, weave is flyin and fake nails are clickin in the air. I think they're gonna start scrappin!

COMMERCIAL BREAK

Flav chose hot tubs for the girls to decorate because he wants to see what they are workin with. The girls break out the candles, flowers, balloons and bikins. Flav will spent 10 minutes with each lady. Here's what he got:

• Pumpkin is first. She and Flav cozy up. She decorates her tub with bubbles which have actions written inside. Flav chooses the 1st - Shower with kisses. They get busy. This is not for the faint at heart.
• Flav and Red Oyster play dirty minds.
• Peachez sings Flav a song.
• Cutie raps and wiggles her booty.
• New York decorates her hot tub with candles and flower petals. She talks of peace.
• Rain talks about her crazy relationships.
• Apples does a hula dance and Flav leis her.
• Georgia introduces Flave to Feng Shui.
• Goldie starts booty shakin with her country ass! Gotta love Goldie.
• Smiley just takes off her make-up to show her real side. She still believes in love. How sweet and crap-tastic!
• Dimplez rollerskates. She has a beautiful smile. Apparently, she thinks Flav does too.
• Hottie is nuts. She tries to hypnotize him.
• Miss Latin is THICK! Especially in the middle. She's here for Flav.

In all, this challenge was really really lame and these women are desperate! Which 3 does Flav choose? Smiley, New York, and Miss Latin. New York is NOT shocked that she won.

Around 4am, Flav hears the girls talking in the kitchen. Pumpkin and New York are fightin because New York is just a big old meanie. New York tells Pumpkin she ain't got it and needs a facelift. Pumpkin takes off the kid gloves. "At least I don't look like a transvestite" with your "dick tucked behind your nutsack!" Ooh, somebody betta hold New York back before she fights like the man that she is.

Flav comes out of his room and Pumpkin rats out New York. Flav comforts Pumpkin. I find it hilarious that Pumpkin was cryin when she clearly got the better snap in!

New York feels she's awesome and totally has it goin on. Hmmmm.

COMMERCIAL BREAK

Miss Latin calls Cash again. He hangs up on her sorry ass. I'm guessing he broke up with her because of the show, which is smart. I wouldn't want my lady chasin Flav!

Miss Latin talks to the girls about how much she misses her man. Whoa! They've only been broken up a week! Miss Lating agrees that if Cash asked her to come back to him, she'd dump Flav in a heartbeat. Smart girl, but dumb girl to tell the others because we all know someone is gonna dime her out.

Cut to the ladies. The 3 girls chosen for the special date receive clothes from Flav. They get ready for what promises to be an interesting evening. Flav has on his long turquoise jacket with purple and black fur trim for this special occassion. He looks as fly as the flyest pimp! Ohh, they're gonna bounce, rock, rollerskate!

New York is rubbin all over Flav. Miss Latin falls on her arse. Well, that seems to get Flav's attention, so New York falls too. Flav is hip to her game. Besides, he wants to feel the physical attraction.

So after skating, he feeds his dates the finest food that the snackbar serves. Here's what we learn:

• Smiley was married once. Her husband wasn't in love with her and she wasn't the one. TEAR! Flav said it's ok. It takes a while to find the right one. I mean, look at him. He's had a bunch of babies with a bunch of different women.
• Miss Latin has been married twice. There were some serious differences eith 2nd one (which I'm assuming is Cash). She didn't mention Flav though.

COMMERCIAL BREAK

The dates went well. Miss Latin feels confident. Meanwhile, a group of girls are discussing Miss Latin's relationship with her ex, but most agreed that it was none of their business. Well . . . all except Hottie that is.

BTW, what the fuck is Hottie wearing?!?! She's got on this thing that wraps around and separates her big droopy titties, then forms into pants with slits on the sides. That's not baby fat. That's fat, baby. And don't let me get started on her weave.

Anyhoo, Hottie goes to Miss Latin and tells her that the whole house is talking about her ex and how she would choose him over Flav. Miss Latin gets defensive (even though she said it). Hottie says that she's going to tell Flav because she cares about him.

Dinner time! Miss Latin tells all the ladies what Hottie said. Hottie says "I don't know what you're talking about." The other women call Hottie out because they know she's a lying instigator. Rain throws in a "Praise Jesus!" (she really loves the Lord). While these chicks are totally backbiting, Goldie comments that the chicken they were supposed to be eating was quite lovely! I LOVE GOLDIE!

Meanwhile, Red Oyster sits in Flav's lap, with a Diet coke in hand, and proceeds to rat out Miss Latin. And here I thought it was gonna be Hottie. This news did not soothe Flav's soul!

Clock time!

COMMERCIAL BREAK

We're back to the clock ceremony. The girls are commenting on their chances. Rain feels "mad less secure" because Flav doesn't really know anything new about her, while Smiley fears her emotions during the date may have ruined her chance.

Good Lord, what is Hottie wearing. As I heard earlier tonight, you should not wear a belly shirt if you actually have a belly! That girl looks like a hot mess!

Dayum, somebody said that New York looks lie Shrek. BWAAAAAAAHHH!

15 narrows to 10:

• Sweetie
• Serious
• Smiley
• Peachez
• Hoopz

10 bodies, 5 clocks, who will be the ones to walk the blocks

• Goldie
• Hottie (dayum, nobody even clapped for her)
• New York (wow, Rain is really cut deep by this one)
• Pumpkin
• Red Oyster

Pause: Flav takes a minute to make a speech about rats. Miss Latin is a dirty rat for disrespecting Flav by callin her ex-bf. Adios Miss Latin! Apparently, Red Oyster is a clean rat because he keeps her.

What? Rain is not on the list? Well, that ghetto bitch had to go sometime. Praise Jesus, I say!

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This episode wasn't nearly as entertaining as the first. If the next one sucks, I'm soooo not recapping it. I'd rather do recaps of My Own anyway. Now that's the BEST SHOW EVER (that one is just for you Palma).