There is NOTHING worse than a black 'publican!

Lynn Swann, famed football player and sports commentator, has decided to run for governor of Pennsylvania - as a 'publican! BOOOOOOO!

Several years ago, I ran into Lynn Swann in New Orleans. He was walking down Canal Street carryin his golf bag. I said to my boyfriend at the time "Look, it's Lynn Swann!" I was kinda starstruck then. But no more. If I saw Lynn Swann on the street today, I'd trip him or throw a rotten piece of fruit at him or somethin.

I wouldn't describe myself as a hate-filled person, but dammit, I HATE BLACK REPUBLICANS. I hate black 'publicans more than any other kind of 'publican. Seriously, I believe that there's a special place in hell for black 'publicans. Here's why:

They all use that lame ass "the Democratic party has taken the black vote for granted" rhetoric. Well, I can't disagree. Democrats don't deliver a fraction of what they promise black voters. However, being taken for granted by Democrats is infintely better than being completely ignored by 'publicans. Let me repharase. 'Publicans pay plenty of attention to black folks. They blame us for all crime, they give us harsher criminal penalties, they try to get rid of affirmative action, they cut spending on programs which help us, and they leave us for dead during natural disasters. I'm all for making parties work for black votes, but no matter how much "work" 'publicans do, it always seems to be in the worst interest of black people. I'll take a party that takes me for granted over a party trying to destroy me any day.

They're fuckin delusional. For instance, folks like Clarence Thomas and Ward Connerly honestly believe that they have NEVER benefitted from Affirmative Action policies. Condi Rice grew up in Alabama during the brunt of the civil rights movement, and she supposedly doesn't remember a thing? Armstrong Williams thought Sen. Thurmond, a card-carrying klansman (who secretly fathered a black child), was a wonderful man. What do all of these folks have in common (besides being black 'publicans)? That's right. They're all fucking nuts (there are meds for that). These folks are in serious denial. They're under the impression that because they were able to rise from adversity and pull themselves up by their bootstraps that things must be just swell! HELLO! Not everyone has boots. Not everyone is given a shot. Those bitches were all extremely LUCKY! But instead of using their fortune to help others or even to lead in a good way, they use their power to hurt the rest of us. Fuck you, you self-hating delusional bastards!

They think that white is right. Black 'publicans in the national spotlight are self-loathing Uncle Toms. Yeah, I said it! What self-respecting black person wants to support a party that carries out policies that are destructive to our race as well as people of color in general? Black people who hate other black people and who hate themselves for being black, that's who! So instead of helping other black people, they do everything they can to separate themselves from "those black people." That includes adopting self-loathing ideology. However, rich black 'publicans who think their money gives them special status are not the only culprits. Poor black 'publicans in the South are the same way. They claim to vote 'publican because of "religious" reasons, but I don't buy that shit at all. They simply vote for white people because they're still stuck in the frame of mind that white is right, especially if it's Christian and white. For cryin out loud, my own grandmother always told me I was ugly because I was dark (and I'm a sexy bitch, wink). She was probably votin for Jesse like the rest of the poor brainwashed masses.

Like most 'publicans, they're just plain stupid. Lynn Swann opposes abortion rights. That's stupid. Condi Rice really believes that Dubya is smart. She's stupid. Clarence Thomas can't write a judicial opinion to save his life. He's stupid. Armstrong Williams got caught taking kickbacks from the Bush administration to push it's education agenda. Fuckin idiot. J.C. Watts thought the 'publicans were gonna take care of him if he denounced the Congressional Black Caucus. What a tard. Joseph C. Phillips really believes in the "war on terror." Good Lord. Colin Powell left the Bush administration. Well, at least he came to his senses.

So, the next time you see or hear a black 'publican, shun him or her. They are evil and must be destroyed. Even my favorite black 'publican Colin Powell should at least be given a stern talking to. As for Lynn Swann's candidacy, I say SHAME ON YOU, SELLOUT!

For more fearful information on Black Republicans, please see The Black Republican. This site is just plain looney.