Tuesday, January 30, 2007

Barack Obama: The Drawing Board

This is my good friend Wyatt, a stand up comic and actor. He actually does kinda look like Obama. Scary!

Tuesday, January 02, 2007

The Devil & Virgil Goode . . .

Sometime today, buried beneath the Pres. Ford funeral coverage and the 200th story about Britney Spears’ shaved coochie, there will be a story about Keith Ellison being sworn in as the 1st Muslim elected to the House of Representatives. This should be a proud moment for Americans because it truly serves a testament to principles of religious freedom and diversity – things that as Americans we supposedly hold near to our hearts (emphasis on the supposedly – I’m still a cynic afterall). Right?

Well, not according to Rep. Virgil Goode (R-Va)! He no likeys the Muslims. And apparently, he really no likeys the fact that Keith Ellison has chosen to take his swearing in picture holding a copy of the Quran.

Actually, what he said was:

“If American citizens don't wake up and adopt the Virgil Goode position on immigration there will likely be many more Muslims elected to office and demanding the use of the Quran."


Let’s forget the fact that no one is actually sworn in using the Bible. Let’s even forget about all that religious freedom and diversity stuff. Instead, let’s talk about immigration for a second.

I agree with Rep. Goode in one respect. Our immigration policy is horrible and could sure use a good fixin’. However, I’m still unsure how Rep. Ellison taking a promotional swearing-in photo using the Quran has ANYTHING TO DO WITH IMMIGRATION POLICY.

In every article I’ve read, each writer attempts to point out the flaws in Rep. Goode’s email by touting how immigration creates diversity. But each article (and I mean each and every one of ‘em) completely ignores one obvious fact:

Last time I checked, Keith Ellison, like Bruce Springsteen, was BORN IN THE USA! This man IS NOT an immigrant. He was born in Motown for Christ’s sake.

So, instead of assuming that Rep. Goode’s email actually had a valid point and attempting to deconstruct it, I’m gonna call a spade a spade (I think that’s racist) and say this:

Dear Rep. Goode,

You are a freakin’ idiot! Rep. Keith Ellison is Muslim. He is also a natural born citizen of the United States of America, as are million of Muslims. I know this may shock you, but it looks like we don’t have to import Muslims from other countries because they are here and have been here for a while. Actually, I heard that they are all out to get you. Be afraid. Be very afraid.


P.S. If more of those illegals come cross the border and start runnin’ for office (cuz that’s exactly what illegals do), then I say we protest the use of the Bible because those pesky Mexicans are Catholic. That should stop ‘em!