Wednesday, July 26, 2006

SHOCKER! Lance Bass is Gay? I don't Believe it!

I haveno further comment. Here's the story!

Monday, July 10, 2006

Pac is ALIVE!!!

Now I'm not sayin that I watched the supposed lost episodes of Chapelle's Show last night, cuz I know my boy Dave wouldn't want me to. However, I did run across this skit about Tupac and laughed my ass off. I figured I'd post it for your viewing pleasure.

Bush Pilot - Well that explains everything!

I found this on Crooks & Liars this morning, and then again on Google. Apparently, the video was produced by a German tv station. Makes perfect sense to me!

Saturday, July 08, 2006

The Production Team of Dallas Austin n Orrin Hatch???

I know y'all heard about Dallas Austin - aka Chili of TLC's babydaddy - was arrested and thrown in jail in Dubai for possession of cocaine, then miraculously let go several hours later. Well, who knew that Orrin Hatch (R - Utah) was involved?

Take a look at THIS STORY in the New York Times that connects the dots, and drops a lot of names like Lionel Richie and Quincy Jones.

Thursday, July 06, 2006

Why White liberals will not be spared in the revolution!

Joe Biden (D - Delaware) is a fuckin tard and he's moved from #5,476,413 to #1 on my list!

Check this out. This fool had the actual nerve to say on national tv (C Span - I know y'all don't watch it, but it does exist and it's national):

"I've Had A Great Relationship [With Indians]... You Cannot Go To A 7-Eleven Or A Dunkin Donuts Unless You Have A Slight Indian Accent. . . "

Wanna see the VIDEO? I thought you did.

Maybe I should call R Kelly and tell him to pull out his gat (please see previous post).

Come Out of the Closet Tom Cruise - Before R Kelly Pulls Out His Gat Again!

So, in a total diss to Tom "L Ron" Cruise, the Emmy's have nominated the Trapped in the Closet episode of South Park for Best Animated Program. I say hoorah to the Academy (or whoever it is that does the Emmy's). And for your viewing pleasure, here is a good snippet of what I must say is the BEST episode in South Park history. I present to you Trapped in the Closet . . .

Sunday, July 02, 2006

So I went to see Superman . . .

and honestly, I wasn't that impressed. Mind you, I remember being a kid and my parents taking me to see all of the Superman movies - Superman II was and still is my favorite. So, I was really looking forward to Superman Returns. I even waited until Card Shark got back into town so we could see it together.

If you haven't seen it yet, THERE ARE SPOILERS BELOW, so STOP READING NOW if you don't wanna know what happens.

I was going to do a full recap of the entire movie, but at 2.5 hours, it would take me 4eva. So, I'm gonna give you guys Superman Returns: The Foxxxy Abridged Version.

  • Krypton explodes, cuz we didn't know that happened.
  • Superman comes back to Earth after a 5-year hiatus. He's cute for a white guy, but he's no Boris Kodjoe. . .
  • Lois Lane has just won a Pulitzer, even though she asks someone "how many f's in catastrophic?" AND she's shacked up with her "babydaddy," or so we think . . .
  • Clark Kent is a dork and Lois is a total bitch to him.
  • Jimmy is a gay homosexual who is clearly in love with Clark Kent.
  • Ooh, and Lex Luthor and Kitty Kowalski are the absolute best thing about the movie, even though Lex showed some old broad "pleasures she's never experienced before." GROSS!
  • Truth, justice, and that all that other stuff . . .
  • Some shit crashes and blows up and stuff.
  • Superman saves the world from bank robbers, because that's way more important that fighting genocide or stopping terrorism and stuff like that. How about ending that Israeli/Palestinian conflictin Gaza? No? Bank robbers are more important? Ok then, Supe.
  • Did I mention Lois is a total hobag?
  • Lex Luthor should really just stop all this world domination stuff and become a glorified real estate agent.
  • Superman is really Jesus. I mean, just like God, Jor-El gave his only son to the people of Earth. I missed that one in Bible study. Oh wait, I didn't go to Bible study.
  • Superman, somehow, can move an entire island filled with Krytonite. Who knew?
  • Lois Lane is a ho . . . who passes off Superman's kid as someone else's.
  • Superkid could really kick ass if he wasn't so sickly. I think maybe he's Mr. Glass's baby and Lois is an even bigger ho than I thought.
  • Superman lives, and so does everyone else - BORING.
  • The end!

Normally, I would say more, but it just wasn't that interesting to begin with. The special effects were good, but nothing groundbreaking or new. The story is the same over and over again, so nothing new there either. Though Kevin Spacey and Parker Posey were great, Kate Bosworth is not convincing as a Pulitzer winner or a mother (but she's got the ho thing in the bag). So, if you ask me, I think I should've gone to see The Devil Wears Prada. So should you!