Wednesday, September 28, 2005

Saw the Ex tonite.

He's chubby. We sat in a meeting. I was mean to him. He took me to dinner. I was mean to him some more. Then I came home. I still feel like being mean to him.

I can honestly say that today was quite odd. I've always felt at ease with good ole Card Shark, but tonight, I was just so uncomfortable. Perhaps, that's because the last time we spoke, he called me at 3:30am asking me if we were "still friends." I was really drunk when he called, so I said "I dunno! Talk to Liz." Before that, I told him to leave me alone and let me deal with our non-dating status (remember, he was philosophically smothered).

So imaging my surprise when, again, he ignored my request to be left alone and invited me to a community meeting. I went, partly because I'm smart and he needed me to be at the meeting and partly because I wanted to see how miserable he's been without me. Did I mention he's chubby now?

He kept telling me he was glad I came and that he knows I hate him. He's right on both counts. He was very glad to see me - sucker! I also hate him. Ok. Not so much hate. I'll say I have great disdain for the man.

I don't get boys. They make things so difficult. All that fool had to say was . . .

"Chris, I'm sorry I was a jerk. You're the most wonderful woman I've ever had the occasion to be with - and look at that ass. But I'm so fucked up, I cannot be in a relationship with you right now. I do want to be friends because, again, you are so beautiful and smart and funny and witty and just plain old perfect. I am seriously not worthy! I'm not even interested in anyone else, unless you count Lady Luck who rules my life as I am seriously addicted to poker. When and if I EVER get my shit together, I will shower you with the love and affection that you deserve. In the meantime, you keep lookin for a better man than me and we can hang out, play poker, and play a little touchy feely."

See how easy that is?

Romius, you are now in charge of printing the above sililoquy out and giving it to Card Shark so that next time he calls me at 3:30am, he will begin to recite it instead of the weak shit he spit last time.

Meanwhile, I'm hard at work on my string of LOVAHS. A girl has needs too.

Grannylicious . . .

It's about that time. Baby girl is in the hospital about to have a Indican (Indian and Mexican) baby girl of her own. Her contractions are 3 minutes apart. I'm so excited. Perhaps when I wake up in the morning, there will be a new life in the fam!

And Isa, you're killin me with the baby name. You ain't pregnant yet!


I hate hate hate animal rights activists. They're pushy and crazy. And now they're just plain RACIST. The nerve of those granola eatin white folks and fake boobed, airheaded models to compare cruel treatment of animals to lynchings of blacks and the Trail of Tears. Don't believe me? Check it out for yourself.

No wonder no one with sense supports that organization. They turn ptherwise sympathetic people away. I mean, I dislike animal cruelty as much as the next person, but seein that shit makes me want to speed up the next time I see a cat in the middle of the road just to spite those PETA fuckers! Acutally, that would be self-gratifying because CATS ARE THE DEVIL and so is PETA.

Tuesday, September 27, 2005

And in a more disturbing twist of events

SCOTUS is going to consider Anna Nicole Smith's case. That Trimspa must really work.

You told Harpo to beat me!!

OPRAH'S 'PURPLE' REIGN ON BROADWAY: Host to contribute $1 million to 'Color Purple' musical.

Monday, September 26, 2005

I love GOD!

I don't love Intelligent Design.

Today, a federal court heard what's being dubbed the "Scopes II" trial. For those of you who don't remember, the original Scopes Monkey trial (1920s) dealt with a state law which fined teachers who taught Evolution. In the late 1960, SCOTUS held that laws banning the teaching of Evolution were unconstitutional. Today's trial deals with a Pennsylvania school district that requires a short lesson on Intelligent Design before teaching Evolution Theory.

Intelligent Design, supposedly an alternative to Evolution, basically says that life is so complicated that it must have originated from some "intelligent" being - AKA GOD. Ok, I can probably go with that. My problem is that the "science" behind the theory is crap. Basically, proponents of Intelligent Design should just come out and say "Hey, we're tryin to sneak in Creationism, so we made up something that sounds scientific."

I do believe in God. I think God has a place in all things . . . all things except SCHOOLS and GOVERNMENT and anything else that constitutes STATE! I have this funny recollection dealing with church, state, and separating the two. Wonder what that's about?

Don't get me wrong. As far as I'm concerned, Darwin was a stone-cold racist mother fucker, but at least there's uncontested science to back up Evolution.

Here's the thing. I'm not quite sure what I believe. I don't want to take everything in the Bible literally because then my black ass would be a slave and I would definitely be going to Hell for all that coveting of ass (the jury's out on that one). I also don't really like the whole idea of survival of the fittest because I'm feeling pretty weak these days (and it's not from marathon coveting, that's for damn sure). So, I choose not to think too hard about either - which is why I went to law school and not med school.

Creationism has it's place. It's called church. I go there every once in a while. It's that place with all those pictures of Jesus, fans, and women in hats (I go to a Baptist church, so don't hate). Intelligent Design, aka Creationism lite, should likely stick to the same place.

Ya'll Pray for D'Angelo

And not just because of this mugshot. D'Angelo critically injured in SUV crash.

20 Minute Workout???

No. More like 15.

Tuesday, September 20, 2005

John Roberts Does NOT Care About NDN People (hee hee)

. . . or black people for that matter, but doesn't really speak to my people.

Roberts cites Indian law work before Supreme Court.

TAG - You're it!

This is complements of La Isla Bonita:

THE RULES: List five songs that you are currently loving. It doesn't matter what genre they are from, whether they have words, or even if they're any good, but they must be songs you're really enjoying right now. Post these instructions, the artists, and the songs in your blog, then "tag" five other bloggers/friends to see what they're listening to.

Isa's list:
1. Lucille - Kenny Rogers
2. Shake it Off - Mariah Carey (the only song i ever hear on the radio)
3. Swanee River - Judy Garland
4. Cresent City - Lucinda Williams
5. Crush on You - Lisa Lisa and the Cult Jam!
(sidenote: ISA, this song is by THE JETS and NOT Lisa Lisa)

Foxxxy's List:
1. I'll Be Late For That- Kanye West
2. They Say - Common
3. Say Somethin - Mariah Carey
4. Hello, It's Me - Isley Brothers
5. Creepin - Stevie Wonder

So I TAG these Five Friends of Foxxxy (Don't be offended anyone I left off. This is just for the friends with blogs):
1. Molly
2. Romius
3. Rudy (and you're right, I don't know what "rootin" means in Australia)
4. Jezebel
5. Lizzie Maguire

You're it!

It Wasn't Even the UGLY one

I've been known to call my sisters names. Who hasn't. Here's the thing. I'm not gonna kill myself over it.

So when I saw the title 'Makeover' sued over woman's suicide, I automatically assumed that some ugly chick offed herself after appearing on that horrible Extreme Makeover show. Boy was I wrong. It seems as though the ugly chick's sister was the one who committed sideways. (I don't get it either).

It appears that the pretty sister said some not-so-nice things about her ugly sister while on camera. After ugly girl's appearance was cancelled, pretty sister killed herself because she felt so horrible about the things she said. (Again, I don't get it). Read the story because I'm not makin this shit up.

Monday, September 19, 2005

I'm Sick, Bitches!!!

How is it possible to have a cold in the summer?

So in my sick stooper, I'm watching one of the 2 movies with John Travolta that I actually enjoy. Stayin Alive is a classic among classics. It has violence, romance, and gay men dancing around in tights. What more could you ask for?

Not only is it my 2nd favorite Travolta movie (Pulp Fiction is #1), but it's also one of my favorite dance movies. That's right - I love a good dance movie. So while I'm sitting here waiting for my Nyquil to set in, allow me to indulge myself. Here's my Top 10 List of Foxxxy's Fancy Footwork Flicks:

10. White Nights - A brilliant combination of Communism, guns, and grand pliers!!! I like the scene where Mikhail and Gregory dance together!

9. Tap - I can't help it. I like Gregory Hines. I also love tap. Did ya'll know I used to tap? I probably still got it!

8. Fame - All I have to say is "If you want fame, fame costs. And right here is where you start payin." Debbie Allen still scares me to this day.

7. Center Stage - Ok. This is likely the most corny movie on the planet, but you gotta love the last dance at the end. This is the original dance to "Canned Heat." Sorry Napolean!

6. Dirty Dancing - Nobody puts Baby in a corner! Ok, so Swayze is totally skeezy, but what a way to lose your virginity. I lost mine . . . uh . . . that's another post.

5. You Got Served - Remember when B2K liked one another? I'll admit it. I LOVE THIS MOVIE and wish I was like 10 years younger so I could dance like that. The best part is that the white guyz totally get served in the end. It was almost as good as Cartmen and Stan getting served!

4. Bring It On - Cheerleading is a form of dance, bitches! I remember cheer camp and spirit sticks (another lifetime ago as well). It's a shame that cheers NEVER change. Back in the day, I brought it like it has never been broughten (Ok, so that's not really from Bring it On, but it was inspired by it. Does that count?)

3. Breakin & Breakin II: Electric Boogaloo - How can you choose between these two? Really, how can you? They were filmed simultaneously. Shabadoo and Booglaoo Shrimp are breakin elders now, but how cool where they back in the day? And who can forget the soundtrack? Save the Last Dance, or as I call it, "Breakin III: White chick slums it in the hood", did not do these films justice!

2. Stayin Alive: Ok, is it just me or was Cynthia Geary a WAAAY better dancer than Finola Hughes? Ya'll remember Cynthia Geary? She played Penny in Dirty Dancing.

1. Footloose: I watch this movie every time it comes on. What I can't figure out though is how that white kid knows how to breakdance. And why is Kevin Bacon the "hardest" gymnast/dancer I've ever seen (tee hee hee).

Now that I've rambled, I must pass out for I just can't help myself. Are colds catchy through the computer *sneeze*?

Sunday, September 18, 2005

And in the trainwreck tradition of Bobby Brown . . .

LIL KIM’S REALITY; FOXY'S POPULARITY: Lil' Kim 'Goes to the Big House' in new reality show

Friday, September 09, 2005

and while i'm on a tyrade . . .

Arnold Schwartzeneggar is a freakin idiot!

. . . and a bad Republican (or a good one depending on what stance they take, which apparently changes more than the length of Jessica Simpson's weave).

Ah-nald claims he's gonna veto a bill passed by the California legislture which would technically allow same-sex marriage by defining marriage as a civil contract "between two persons." This might likely be the SMARTEST thing California has ever done (the dumbest being putting the freakin Terminator in office).

Ah-nald, who claims to like the gay marriage cause, said he's going to veto the bill because - and this is the best part - this is a matter for the people of California and the COURTS. Oh, where does a girl begin?

How did this idiot get citizenship? I think the first thing we learn in civics class is that THE LEGISLATURE MAKES LAW! Better yet, he needs to get his Republican card revoked because all they do nowadays is rail against "activist judges" who make law. They're stupid too, but that's another post.

And really, when do we ever listen to the people? Should we even bother with that whole people thing? That's why we have a representative democracy instead of a pure one. The founding fathers (none of which I'm related to - or maybe I am. They were slavemasters) knew the people were stupid, which is why we have to elect people and hope to God that they make laws we like. Hell, we don't even directly elect the president (which in that case, is clearly a shame)!

Seriously, if the people made law without the legislature and the courts, I'd be pickin cotton (I'm too dark to be a house Negro). Sorry ass men of color couldn't ignore beautiful women of color to date and marry Snowflake (you know who you are) because it would be very illegal. And my NDN friends would be . . . well . . . they'd still be as fucked as they are right now, except more fucked. And those fools in California might still have a real governor, NOT a governator.

So, Ah-nold, stop bein a prick and sign that bill into law. Otherwise, I'm gonna start a movement of the people to deport your sorry ass!

I'm so digusted!!!

First Lady, Laura Bush said charges that racism slowed aid 'are just plain disgusting.' "I think all of those remarks were disgusting, to be perfectly frank because, of course, President Bush cares about everyone in our country," she said.

Of course? I know a whole lot of folks who would disagree. Just ask Cindy Sheehan!

She continues, "I do think . . . that poor people were more vulnerable. They live in poor neighborhoods; their neighborhoods were the ones that were more likely to flood, as we saw in New Orleans. . . . Their housing was more vulnerable, and that's what we saw and that's what we want to address in our country."

Fine enough. They were poor, I'll definitely give you that. But to ignore race and be indignant when so many people have legitimately brought it up is just plain "disgusting!!!!"

Shame on you Laura Bush, and shame on your old senile mother-in-law!

My N***a!

Powell slams hurricane response

My boy is slowly gettin his color back. I can almost see it now!

And be sure to check out his 1st interview since leaving the Bush administration tonight on 20/20!

I Know Who You Are, Suckas!!

So, of course I've been tracking who's coming to the best darn blog in all the world. Here are some random facts that I think you'll all enjoy:

  • I've got hos in different area codes! You guys are visiting me from all over the place, but mostly places I've lived. That includes Arizona, the DC Metro area, and North Carolina.

  • Goodday Mates! With all of the people I know in America, you would think you guys could visit a sista more. NO! I get twice as many hits from folks in Australia. That's right! The nation that I dogged out a few weeks ago apparently can't get enough of me. I think you all have the hots for black chicks - especially Rudy.

  • Most of you stumbled upon my site by searching for some combination of words describing TOMMY LEE'S DICK more than anything else. That just means you're a bunch of pervs! I'm digusted with you all.

  • Only 1 of you happened upon my site while looking for "black bitches." Apparently, I'm slippin.

  • I have every single person's IP address, so if you start stalking me, I know exactly where to find you!

  • I swear I get more comments/advertisements than any other blog.

So, now you know. You're being watched - so watch your backs, suckas.

Stay tuned for the misadventures of the Not so 2 Live Crew. Medicine Crow is back and I'm sure I'll have some stories to tell!!!

That's Mighty White of You - A story for Triple T

I promised my friend Triple T that I would write about the whitest wedding ever. However, I decided not to because the groom, another friend of mine, would kick my ass. He's one mean NDN. So, I'll send the story to anyone who sends me an email requesting it. I've even got pics!!!

Tuesday, September 06, 2005

Did I say this like 5 weeks ago?

Use of word 'refugee' to describe the displaced stirs dispute

Thanks Pork Chop! Hold it down at the KPMG!

Monday, September 05, 2005

KANYE WEST BLASTS BUSH'S KATRINA RELIEF EFFORTS: 'George Bush doesn't care about black people!'

I'm a little late posting this only because I was away this weekend (at the whitest wedding ever - but that's another post). Did I mention that I love Kanye and everyone should buy his album right now!!!

KANYE WEST BLASTS BUSH'S KATRINA RELIEF EFFORTS: 'George Bush doesn't care about black people!'

And here's the VIDEO!!!!

Thursday, September 01, 2005

Donate to Hurricane Relief

Money, time or whatever you can spare.

I don't have any family or friend in New Orleans, but please keep everyone there in your thoughts and prayers.

And for those of you at the law school, expect to see some new faces. We're admitting students displaced by the hurricane. Help them however you can!


n. One who flees in search of refuge, as in times of war, political oppression, or religious persecution;

n. An individual seeking refuge or asylum; especially : an individual who has left his or her native country and is unwilling or unable to return to it because of persecution or fear of persecution (as because of race, religion, membership in a particular social group, or political opinion).

So why on God's green earth are the media referring to the victims of the hurricane as refugees? They are Americans. They're not fleeing war. Though Louisiana isn't the most tolerant state, they're not in fear of persecution.

Oh, I know why. It's because they're black and/or poor. That makes perfect sense. The black and/or poor aren't really Americans. They're refugees.

Have I mentioned how much I hate this country sometimes? Well, it could be worse. I could be Australian! (just kidding to all of the nice Australian people who've been frequenting my site as of late. That doesn't include you, Rudy).